By A is often a balancing act of misalignment with their assigned gender and the pressures of cisgender beauty standards. Broad shoulders, wide rib cages, and narrow hips can make even the most “passing” trans women experience gender dysphoria—incongruence with a body that does not represent your gender identity.
I know I do.Seven years out from my transition, I still feel anxiety about things as mundane as taking a photo. After a recent hang out with my cisgender female friend, I spiraled in self-doubt as she posted a picture of us together. “Let me edit myself first,” I insisted.
Her reaction was consistent with how most cis people try to sympathize with my insecurities. “What do you mean? You always look great,” she said. “You’re the most beautiful girl I know!”A myriad of responses whirled through my mind—most of which ignored her consolation and pointed to a trans experience she just wouldn’t understand—so I shut down and changed the subject.
When sharing the nuances of my trans experience, however shallow or complex it may seem, the most common way cis people empathize is by minimization.
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