Billie Lourd says she feels mom Carrie Fisher’s ‘presence’ 7 years after her death: ‘Eyes welled up with tears’

nypost.com:

seventh anniversary of Fisher’s death.Fisher and her mother, actress Debbie Reynolds, both died within a day of each other in late December 2016.Lourd posted, via social media, a throwback photo of herself and the “Star Wars” actress playing on the beach.“Every anniversary brings a different iteration of my grief.

Some infuse me with rage, some make me cry all day long, some make me feel dissociated and empty,” she wrote on Wednesday.The “American Horror Story” alum adds that some anniversaries of her mother’s passing make her “feel nothing” and “some make me feel guilty for feeling nothing.”This year, Lourd noted, she woke up feeling “grateful — or griefull — if you will.“Grief has infused my life with a sense of appreciation I had never had before.

It makes me soak up every moment of joy as if it were my last,” she wrote. She further describes how her “eyes welled up with tears of joy” when she held her daughter, Jackson, on Wednesday. “I laughed at myself then cried more cause I was laughing.

I felt my mom’s presence like the warmth of the sun on your skin on a hot summer day,” she continues. “The kind of warmth where you unknowingly close your eyes and take a slow breath through your nose and grin,” Lourd added.The “Booksmart” actress wrote that she “missed [her mom] every day, but the cliché is also true. “She is with me every day, she infuses my joyful moments with even more joy,” Lourd continues.“As I tell my son, she lives in the stars — and she damn sure makes my life sparkle,” she concludes. “Sending my love to all my griefers out there.