2018’s surprising “Bumblebee” gave us some hope that the series still had some gas in the tank. Running time: 127 minutes. Rated PG-13 (intense sequences of sci-fi action and violence, and language.) In theaters.Wrong!
The fuel gauge is at “E” — for excruciating. The seventh movie in the franchise, “Transformers: Rise of the Beasts,” is a predictable return to rock-em-sock-em stupidity with nothing to add except Michelle Yeoh as a talking aluminum falcon.What a misnomer “Transformers” is.
These films never change one iota. Once again the noble numbskull Autobots are back, but this time they’re parked in 1994 New York City following the events of “Bumblebee,” whatever they were.As usual, a likable young person (Noah Diaz, played by Anthony Ramos) is shocked to discover the Porsche he’s sitting in is actually a sentient robot who mysteriously wisecracks and speaks in American slang.
That bot in this instance is Mirage, who abruptly announces, “I’m an alien!”The Autobots, led by Optimus Prime, then task the Brooklynite — who’s been trying to earn money through occasionally criminal means to pay for his little brother’s cancer treatment — with stealing the “transwarp key” from a museum, where he meets a brilliant-but-belittled art expert named Elena Wallace (Dominique Fishback).The transwarp key would allow the Autobots, who have been stranded on Earth for seven years, to finally return to their home planet.
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