Jessica Kiang Spoken English evolved such useful phrases as “blah blah blah” and “yada yada yada” so that in conversation we don’t have to suffer through numbingly repetitive descriptions of the perfectly obvious.
Sadly, no such shorthand exists in the “After” universe, which, now on its fourth instalment, seems dedicated to spinning the already vanishingly wispy romance between good-girl Tessa and bad-boy Hardin, YA fiction’s most colossally boring golden couple, into ever thinner straw.
After a placeholder second film (“After We Collided”) and a wheel-spinning third (“After We Fell”) the new episode — which itself ramps up to a face-palming “to be continued” — can’t even charitably be said to be blah.
It’s the space between the blahs. Laboring under the aggravatingly agrammatical title of “After Ever Happy” (hats off if you get the order of those three words right on your first attempt), this desultory go-round picks up at the English wedding that Tessa Young (Josephine Langford, dewy) and Hardin Scott (Hero Fiennes Tiffin, surly) were attending at the end of the last movie, when Hardin discovered his bride-to-be mom Trish (Louise Lombard) having sex with her not-fiancé Christian (Stephen Moyer).
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