Jo Koy Opens Golden Globes With Jokes About Meryl Streep, Barbenheimer, ‘Succession’ And Barry Keoghan’s Penis: The Best & Worst Of The Monologue

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Stand-up comic Jo Koy did his best to bring laughs back to the Golden Globes – or at least back to the opening monologue – with jokes about Meryl Streep, Succession, Oppenheimer, Ryan Gosling and even Hall & Oates.

He was occasionally successful. Singling out Saltburn‘s naked-dancing Barry Keoghan in the audience, Koy asked, “Where is your penis seated?” That was one of the better zingers, so much so that Koy returned to the topic by solving the mystery of whatever happened to Bradley Cooper’s fake nose from Maestro: Watch Saltburn, he said. “That thing was dancing.” Koy was on firmer turf with a punchline about Oppenheimer‘s length.

The comic said he started watching the movie on New Year’s Eve, with a resolution to finish it in 2025. Early in the monologue, Koy cautioned against high expectations: “I got this gig 10 days ago,” he told the audience. “You want a perfect monologue?” “I wrote some of these [jokes] and they’re the ones you’re laughing at.” Some of the jokes scored, including, well, the big punchline about Keoghan, and a funny aside about being dazzled by Barbie‘s beauty. “There’s just something about your eyes, Ryan.” A weirder (and less successful) joke was made about Kevin Costner and a cow, and more cringey was a reference to Robert De Niro’s pending new fatherhood. “Your last performance is going to be your greatest performance ever,” Koy said: “How did you get her pregnant at 80?” De Niro, at least, seemed to get a chuckle from the gibe.

Cringier still was his successful encouragement to get Meryl Streep to do the crossed-arms gesture from Wakanda. Better was Koy’s imitation of his mother – a regular feature in his stand-up act – and how much she loves Streep. “She wins everything,” Koy said in his