After I gave birth to Consy, she was immediately taken away from me. I never got to hold her, I was only allowed to take her in my arms after she had died.
It had a massive impact on me because I was so concerned about her wellbeing that I had no ounce of happiness that I had just given birth to something beautiful.
It was so painful because she was my little girl and it felt like she was somebody else's. I didn't have a connection with her.
I felt like a failure. After she'd gone, my body was still full of hormones so I was still getting all the emotional and physical changes of having just had a baby.
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