Unlike the upfronts themselves, Jimmy Kimmel was not back on-stage live in NYC today for the first time since 2019. Having tested positive for Covid-19 again, the late-night host had to change plans and appear virtually to take a flamethrower to some of Disney’s executives, streaming dreams, and offerings old and new.While not appearing in person at Basketball City at Pier 36 at the tail end of the CEO Bob Chapek introduced full bells and whistles presentation by House of Mouse brass and top tier talent, protean Kimmel was still in fine & fiery form after two years of pandemic induced virtual roasts. “We’re not bullshitting you, we’re storytelling,” he proclaimed after ripping through Disney, the “smug bastards” at Netflix and all their mutual rivals. “Just remember this, this company owns everything.
We own Mickey Mouse, we own Spider-Man, we own The Muppets, The Simpsons, the Kardashians, Encanto. We own it all!” “We have enough power to build a Death Star – Which is another thing we own!” Even by his own admittedly high standard, this year’s around 15-minute routine had something for everyone and took on everyone, with maybe even more bite than before – and a slap or two, if you know what I mean?Here are some of Kimmel’s best Zoomed-in zingers of the afternoon:BOB CHAPEK A Disney CEO has never spoken at the upfront before and now we know why.
Bob – I think I speak for all of us when I say “we can’t wait to see you in GI Jane 2. DISNEY Disney has been so committed to being inclusive and culturally sensitive since… everyone started getting mad at us for not.
But what do you expect? We are 100. This company is a hundred years old. It’s our 100th anniversary – and we are gonna celebrate that milestone like only Disney can
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