Jeannie Mai Says She 'Freaked Out' After Giving Birth Because of 'Treacherous' Postpartum Anxiety (Exclusive)

etonline.com:

Jeannie Mai says she feels so happy to welcome motherhood and embrace «the gift» of getting to see her baby girl learn and grow and thrive, but notes it's been a long journey getting to this point.

The  star shared how she dealt with postpartum anxiety. Mai sat down with ET's Kevin Frazier on Monday and opened up about how her worries and concerns about having a baby — which she experienced while pregnant — transformed into a feeling of gratitude and unmitigated love with her baby's arrival.«I honestly can say that the whole time I was pregnant I was nervous because I was like I almost feel like I don't deserve this beautiful privilege,» Mai recalled. «I honestly got a lot of anxiety because I thought, for somebody who said their whole life that they didn't wanna be a mom and here this gift was being given to me, I felt like, 'Don't put yourself in risky situations, like don't get on a plane or — you are the one to have this taken away from you, because you didn't appreciate it when you had the choice.'»«So now, I am beyond grateful,» she added. «Because I cannot believe, as every parent can tell you, how much a child changes your life.

And I like myself better. I like myself better as a mom.»The 43-year-old TV personality and her husband, Jeezy, welcomed their baby daughter -- Monaco Mai Jenkins — in January, and she says she's just been enjoying seeing her learn and develop every day.«I love being a mom.

I am so touched with the gift of getting her to open her arms… teaching her to lift her arms and teaching her to register communication with me, it's everything,» she shared. «Teaching her, all of the sudden, to dance,?